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Mark Smeaton

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Musician

The Resume

    (circa 1512-May 12, 1536)
    Musician, singer, and dancer in the court of King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn
    Played lute, viol, and virginals
    Named Groom of the Privy Chamber (1532)
    Arrested and accused of treason and committing adultery with Anne (April 30, 1536)
    Found guilty and executed by beheading

Why he might be annoying:

    Courtier Sir Thomas Wyatt wrote a poem mocking his social climbing.
    He spent lavishly on horses, seemingly more than he could afford on his £100 per year salary, leading to suspicions that he had received money from Anne for his 'services.'
    He confessed to adultery and named as Anne's lovers four other men, who were also arrested and eventually executed.
    Queen Mary would frequently needle her half-sister Elizabeth by observing that she had 'the face and countenance' of Smeaton.

Why he might not be annoying:

    He may have been tortured to produce a confession.
    In his confession, he claimed he and Anne first became lovers at Greenwich on May 13, 1535; court records showed that the Queen was actually at Richmond on that day.
    Anne failed to notice that he was missing from her court until news of his arrest was made public, which does not suggest a very intimate relationship.
    Face it, the investigation was less interested in determining his actual guilt or innocence than in coming up with some excuse for Henry to get rid of Anne.
    He avoided being drawn and quartered -- the official penalty for a commoner found guilty of treason -- presumably as a 'reward' for confessing.
    Mary's insinuations that Smeaton was Elizabeth's real father had no lasting effect, mostly because court opinion was that Elizabeth resembled Henry far more than Mary did.

Credit: C. Fishel


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 3 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 2 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 3 Votes: 66.67% Annoying