The Resume

(January 13, 1832-July 18, 1899)
Graduated Harvard
Wrote over 130 dime novels

Why he might be annoying:

His most successful novels were his 'Ragged Dick' series. It turns out, however, that he might have liked the 'ragged dick' himself. (He is regarded now as a closeted homosexual.)
He invented the 'Rags to Riches' cliché.
The NAMBLA boy molestation chapter in New York City is named after him.
Most of the protagonists in his novels were young boys who relied on being befriended by wealthy older men for success.
His books are repetitive.
He believed that anyone could be wealthy if they just tried really hard.
Ironically, though, his books were best sellers about hard work bringing wealth. He never became wealthy himself.
He gave most of his money to poor boys that he might have wanted to screw.
Socialists hate him.

Why he might not be annoying:

His books out-sold those written by Mark Twain.
His books had strong moral messages.
He was an extremely prolific writer.
The Horatio Alger Association gives out $5 million a year in scholarships.

Credit: Captain Howdy

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

• Allegedly Gay Men
• Captain Howdy's Profiles [Series 5]
• Celebrity Juniors
• Children's Book Authors
• I am on a U.S. Postage Stamp [A-C]
• I Write Bildungsroman
• I Write Pulp Fiction
• Look at Me, Counting Money
• Look at Me, I'm Wearing a Bow Tie
• Michael Moore Doesn’t Like Me
• Mustaches
• Profiles 17501-17750 (Ranked: 17524)
• Satirized on Rocky and Bullwinkle

Year In Review:

In 2023, Out of 7 Votes: 71.43% Annoying
In 2022, Out of 2 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2021, Out of 13 Votes: 92.31% Annoying
In 2020, Out of 3 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
In 2019, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2018, Out of 12 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2017, Out of 3 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2016, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2015, Out of 7 Votes: 57.14% Annoying
In 2014, Out of 17 Votes: 41.18% Annoying
In 2013, Out of 10 Votes: 60.0% Annoying
In 2012, Out of 90 Votes: 51.11% Annoying
In 2011, Out of 142 Votes: 76.06% Annoying
In 2010, Out of 53 Votes: 67.92% Annoying
In 2009, Out of 29 Votes: 55.17% Annoying
In 2008, Out of 35 Votes: 68.57% Annoying
In 2007, Out of 148 Votes: 54.73% Annoying
In 2006, Out of 110 Votes: 64.55% Annoying